2 Things You Can Do To Make Marriage Counseling Effective
There are many people who see a counselor for their marital problems. It is common to have marriage issues, so it is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, going to counseling together shows a commitment to the relationship to make it work, so you should be proud that you are making steps to protect your relationship. Here are some things that you should do to make counseling effective.
1. Go To Counseling Before The Problem Gets Severe
One of the biggest mistakes people make is that they wait to go to therapy only as a last resort. They can feel their marriage dissolving, but rather than take care of the problem right away, they keep on doing the things that are hurting each other and make the problem worse. It is like a broken bone. If you can fix the problem early on it will heal better and faster. Although it may be painful to go to the doctor, it is better than waiting. A broken bone that goes unattended can become toxic, can set improperly and cause permanent pain and so much more. This is why it is better to go early on. Therapy is so much more effective when it is done, not as a last resort, but when the relationship can still be salvaged.
2. Don't Expect To Be Told That You Are "Right"
Too many times people go to counseling thinking that the counselor will act as a referee and tell the couple who is right and who is wrong. This is not the case at all. The counselor will simply teach you how to communicate, they will not get in the middle of the fight. They might have you talk about a sensitive issue in front of them so that they can see what is bothering you, not necessarily to see what the fight is about, but to see how you fight. The how you fight is so much more important than what you fight about. Every couple disagrees, it is a part of life and it will probably never go away. But it is the couples who know how to fight properly, in a way where they can listen to each other and validate each others feelings, that finding healing and understanding. Thus, be ready to learn new tools about how you communicate with your spouse so that they are heard, and so you are heard too.
These are just two things you can do to make your counseling effective.